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JUST LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING ON THE TIP OF
YOUR TONGUE and you just can't fucking spit it out...actually
this is nothing like that. So we are all packed in the bus like
a bunch of sardines for a ride with our pal Matt. Matt has alot
of sex, and the more he has, the more he seems to want it. I believe
he sees the world as a big buffet table and he picks at the flesh
he fancies for that moment. For this moment his fancy was demanding
a latin man. Not just a guy who has some branches of the family
tree in the mexican soup, we mean a deep, dark latin... ...And
of course, as always, the guy has to be straight too. So we drive
around a bit in Little Havanna and Matt spots a guy. Now I did
not fucking want to talk with this guy...he was a big, muscular
dude...and the last thing I need is some tasmanian-cubano punk
messing up my pretty go-tee because I ask him to smoke another
man's pole. However, I am a fucking pushover and Matt knows this...
So we pull right up to the guy, Antonio. And I will end my tale
at this beginning because you just have to see it for yourself
as we answer the question...what does it take to get a straight
man to get in a bus, and have sex with another man? Continue here
and you will find out...
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OK THIS GUY WAS ACTUALLY SCARY. He is fucking huge
as shit, about 6 feet 5 inches or so and had to be 275+ pounds.
A few times on this ride I thought he was going to beat my ass to
the ground, and he actually dented the cherished Bang Bus with his
big fists at one point. But here I go, getting ahead of myself again.
Let me say that this all started with the innocent desire to find
8th street... I see this big fucking guy walking on the sidewalk
in Little Havanna and tell them to pull the bus up so I can ask
him directions. The minute I rolled the windows down and got his
attention, I could tell that this guys a fighter. He gave the directions
when I asked him, but he was hostile as hell, and for no real reason.
So I figure that this one is no good and we pull away. BUT AS ALWAYS
MATT throws a stick in the spokes and says that his FAVORITE THING
is a big, mean, meaty lug. I pointed out that last time his favorite
thing was a handsome college boy, to which Matt said that EVERYTHING
is his favorite thing and therefore he is right and that unless
I was going to start tounging his rectum I should shut the clam
trap ;-) So once again we listen to old Matt, and once again old
Matt blows our mind by getting a big straight guy to be his meatsicle.
It's probably the craziest, scariest and most outrageous episode
yet, so get your popcorn and watch the show.
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MATT MADE US GO OUT ON A FUCKING RAINY DAY to pick up more fetish
meat for him. I call it fetish meat because unless you live under
a rock you know that Matt has a insatiable appetite for Men...namely
straight men. So Matt has helped us out many times in the past and
he makes us use the famous Bang Bus, and our rather unique powers
of persuasion to go out and get these guys for him. So we went to
a really bad part of town this day...Matt wanted something really
gritty. After a bit of driving around we came across a dark haired
fellow. We pulled up to him and started our bit. He spoke no English
at all...but we always like this because we can verbally smite him
and all he does is smile at us and say 'yes'. We used Iman for the
bait today and this guy was digging her from the start. She is a
piece of dark ass, so it is what we expected. The rest of the story...well
it gets a bit crazy in the bus this day as Carlos makes several
attempts for the door when we tell him about the whole sex with
Matt thing. But the power of Matt is undeniable and with a rub here
and a rub there he was able to get Carlos into such a pleasureable
place that he was begging to fuck the shit out of Matt. So without
further dodo, we proudly present to you this weeks edition of the
Bait Bus
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MATT WANTED A JOE OFF THE STREET. Not a beauty queen(king?)
Just a guy. We thought 'no problem, there seem to more of them then
anything else on the planet'. So we jumped in the bus and went out
scouting. If you are new to us and our little game, we have a friend
named Matt who is gay. Matt loves sex (don't we all) and he has
a particular fetish for straight guys. To him, getting a straight
guy to switch teams is the biggest fantasy. And because Matt has
been such a dear friend, and because he is a pain in the ass if
we don't, we always agree to help him pick these guys up with the
help of our Bang Bus and our dull wit. In a little while we come
across a kindof middle age guy. We ask him for directions and we
ask him his name. Right away I could tell that this guy was game.
He was nice, polite and stupid...easy pickings. So without giving
the rest of this tale away I leave you now. Watch the whole movie
here and see how this day of debauchery unfolds. It was really quite
unexpected.
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SO OUR BUDDY MATT talks us into taking the infamous
Bang Bus out again to get him some leg. Matt, as you may already
know, has a MAJOR fetish for STRAIGHT GUYS. Now we understand as
well as anyone how nice it is to get a piece of forbidden fruit,
but this guy has some serious fucking issues with this fetish of
his...he has balls of steel and he is not afraid to go up a big
fucking straight guy and try to seduce him. So this day we decided
to drive by the local university because Matt had an appetite for
a college boy...and after a bit of driving around we spotted one.
And this guy, as you can see, is not your average bit of jerky...this
guy is clean cut, and looks like he belongs on an underwear ad.
Our bait and switch girls got all excited because he was so good
looking...we had to slap the minions back and remind them that this
is for Matt and they are just here to trick him into the bus. When
we approached this guy I was expecting him to be hostile...but he
was so fucking polite...and our bait and switch girls had very little
trouble getting him to take our offer to drive him to class. The
rest of the story is so fucking outrageous, so undeniably an occurance
that caused the world to shift a degree or so off it's axis that
you just have to see it for yourself to believe it. So sit back,
and watch as we unfold a bit of debauchery unseen before by human
eyes.
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